Friday, 23 February 2018

How does a Christian go into a relationship leading to marriage?

(A quick response to a friend's post on Facebook)
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Should we do it the way it is done in the world and expect Him to approve it? If we must go into marriage relationship as a Christian, I believe the route or process should be FRIENDSHIP>COURTSHIP>MARRIAGE for spiritual babes; but for matured Christians, COURTSHIP>MARRIAGE. I can prove those processes for you if you need more light on it.
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The Bible endorse friendship but not dating. The Bible fully supports courtship (espousal) and marriage itself. What is dating? It is the assessment of two or more people of the opposite sex to determine their suitability for marriage which may or may not involve sexual immoralities or premarital sex.
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As a Christian, are you meant to do this (dating) before you know who to marry or you TRUST in the Lord with all your heart?
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Proverbs 3:5-7 tells us to TRUST in the Lord with all our heart...LEAN not on our own understanding...ACKNOWLEDGE Him in all our ways...and He will DIRECT our paths. How does this translate into marriage?
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Friendship with the opposite is permissible and scriptural (Prov. 27:17) but dating brother A or sister B to determine their suitability for marriage is wrong and not scriptural. We must not do it the world's way and expect to get God's result. You may likely not have God direct you when you are already leaning on to your own understanding as to who you want to marry based on your likes and preferences...God's way is far greater and higher than our ways and His thoughts isn't the same thing as ours.
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You may date for a thousand years and love everything about them, this doesn’t mean they are God’s will for your life. That people refer to the phrase ‘GOD’S WILL’ mean someone that would suit the fulfilment of God’s purpose in their life…this is for those who have discovered God’s purpose for their lives. When you date someone and you have already fallen in love, going to God for information about them is like telling Him to endorse the idol in your heart…except you are bent on marrying right (fulfilling His purpose).
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There is a wide difference between dating and courtship. Dating goes with the aforementioned definition I gave but courtship is a form of relationship where you get to know each other’s family and your PREPARE for marriage…but in dating you are not preparing for marriage but assessing who would be right for you in marriage.
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We are Christians, let us not swallow all information from counselors but test them in the light of God’s word because there are many false teachers out there whose intention is to directly or indirectly mislead immature Christians…I hope this would bless someone reading…God bless us!
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(c) Oluwamayowa Adeniyi 

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