Monday 11 June 2018

SEXUAL HEALING.

I have overtime counseled people who desire to stop sexual activities, listened to their opinion about this, even felt their pain because I’ve been in their shoes before and so I decided to write this to let someone reading know that; you can still start all over again, it is very possible no matter how deep you have gone. Do not forget, I am not judging anyone please and endeavor to read all even though it is lengthy.
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Sex is just not physical; it’s not just emotional, it is spiritual, it goes deep to the soul, it builds intimacy and that is why it hurts so much when you remember been involved in it especially before and outside marriage. Someone said, “Sexuality impacts us at the deepest part of our being in a way that nothing else does” and it is so true but the good news is, it’s not too late to start over again.
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Before I go further, let me quickly address those in the position of leadership especially spiritual leaders, that a person confess to you about his/her sexual escapades does not make such an outcast, it is just the devil that blinded them, keeping them in this sin so that they won’t know their heritage as a child of God and so also that they won’t know they are shining light and needed you to help them see this especially as God has placed you in that position to help. Avoid pushing them away with your words and attitude, they are the reasons Christ died, He loves them and so you should.
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So back to the topic itself, what can you do to heal from these past mistakes, I’ll share some and conclude tomorrow tips by the grace of God.
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1. Go back to God
There is this shame that do come after sexual activity that only Christ can help you with. Like I said I’ve been there before so I pretty know this well, you feel exposed or naked and only wrapped with shame and guilt that some persons feel the only way to help this is to continue in the habit to cover the shame but I have come to tell you that the only way out of this feeling of shame and guilt is accepting Christ.
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2. Forgive yourself
This is another important thing to do, believe that you have been forgiven once you asked for forgiveness genuinely and forgive yourself. According to 2Cor. 5:17, your past life becomes old after accepting Christ. Why are you holding on to the past that the Bible said has passed away and everything new?
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Your past does not determine who you are instead it tells you about the poor decisions you've made and the chances of becoming a better person that's possible. What ultimately defines you is how well you rise after falling in the past.
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3. Confess to one another
I said in the second paragraph that it also hurts outside marriage which is extra marital affairs. After confessing to God; the next person to confess to is your spouse, he or she needs to know. The bible made us to understand that Adam and Eve were naked and were not ashamed, which means no room for secrets. Not forgetting that the Bible also said “confess your faults one to another and pray for one another that you may be healed”.
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Yes, it look difficult to do but it is the best so as to even allow you have a peace of mind, more so after confessing to God, He can always help you through other confession, I am not saying your spouse is not entitled to their mode of receiving the message, I hope you get.
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4. Forgive anyone that needs to be forgiven
Probably yours is rape or any form, you have to try to forgive anybody that was involved so as to complete your healing process. Find a reason to forgive the person, especially making God a reason is enough, this aspect caused me a lot before God helped me. Release that person from your heart so that you can also move forward.
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5. Resolve not to go back
After repenting, resolve I mean make a deliberate decision not to return back, it may be difficult but you have the Holy Spirit to help you through it if you genuinely repent. Set boundaries for yourself, avoid anything that can make you vulnerable, make friends with your gender (godly ones). Have a mentor or a spiritual leader and always check your spiritual status or walk with God.

By Oluwatoyin Aremu

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