IT IS OVER.

I wish I could turn back the hands of time to make adjustments, to correct my mistakes, to undo some things but I cannot, so I have to live with it, see Mrs. Aremu forget it, it is over. Let me just hope anybody anyhow will come along, I am a single mum and no man will want me so I better hope for one married man to rest my case with and I know that God will punish the man that abandoned/raped me, I will never forgive him. This is really touching but is it actually over, is that the end for such person?

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I have seen single mothers and know how stressful this can be, I sincerely feel the pain and stress they go through, oh are you feeling why should I feel for someone who committed fornication and got pregnant, and I preach against such, let her face the consequences of her actions please. I will start from here, this is where many Christians and Churches do miss it I must say, yes the person fell but that does not mean she should be hated/neglected, who are we to judge? Are we not the same people Christ died for even when we were sinners, God loves us that was why He gave up His son to die for us, have you not read; “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Rom.5:8). It is our responsibility to pray, encourage, counsel and lead them back to Christ and that is the whole essence of Christianity not mocking them!

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Not forgetting that not every woman who is a single parent is as a result of sinful pleasure! Have you thought about rape? Christians should please take note, this is common in the household of faith, stigmatization I call it! Our Lord Jesus Christ in Luke 5:32 and Mark 2:17 says "I have not come to call righteous people, but sinners, to repentance." So? Why not get close and help the lady or even hear her out than to pass judgment and criticize, please let there be love shared among us all! My dear sisters, I celebrate you, your courage and strength, you had the opportunity to terminate the breathing blood but you chose to live through the shame and let that blood live to become a child, I really celebrate you. Please stop seeing yourself as an outcast, you are a role model, a strong, bold and beautiful woman, take time to celebrate yourself. This is not a license to commit fornication please.

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This is the very first step, you have to stop seeing yourself as a minor but a major, not as a victim but a victor and how can you achieve this, it is by doing the most important thing which is to return to your maker genuinely, He loves you despite the situation, He is only waiting for you to come to repentance and ask for help. Do not bother yourself worrying what other people will think of you, whether the church will accept you or not and refuse to accept that your life is over. He said we should cast all our cares upon Him, for He cares for us (1 Pet.5:7), He wants to carry your burden, forgive your sins, forget about your sins and help you to move on. Feeling guilty will not help, just return to God in all sincerity if you are in this situation. Do not come to Him because of a partner but for a better life for you and child in all aspect.

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Next to that is forgiveness, either you were raped or abandoned after fornication, you have to forgive so as to allow God take full control if not, that will allow devil to still find a way to make you miserable, let go and let God please, God’s plan for you is too great, do not allow unforgiveness to stand in the way I plead. Then, you can reduce the mental stress that comes with this by taking time to relax, hang out with godly friends, do some physical exercises, look good, find purpose and pursue it, eat good food, dress well and grow your inner man. Remain positive, do not because of the situation lose hope of rising again and also speak negative words into your life and that of your child. Be positive even when all things around are negative, your child is watching you, never raise your child with anger or bitterness lest you transfer that trait into his/her life permanently which will terribly affect his/her life and future.

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I have good news for you, it is not over, yes I make bold to tell you that your life is not over, you will rise again, the right person will come, all it requires is for you to allow God take the lead, be patient and do not nurse the thought of having a married man. You are not an agent to destroy another woman’s home, though the road is not easy but we have a God who can strengthen you to carry on, His covenant over you remains if only you run away from sin and rely totally on Him, He will provide for you because only His blessings makes one rich and with no sorrow. 

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You will marry right and I will celebrate with you!

By Oluwatoyin Aremu.