How to Identify a Wrong (Toxic) Relationship

Photo source: Google

A relationship is said to be wrong, not because you're not in love, but because you're entangled in a friendship that's killing you softly. Many have been trapped in a relationship that seems rosy, but they're oblivious of the harm it's doing to their life.

When Eve shared a few moments with the devil, she never knew it was a relationship that would send her out from the garden that God has kept them. But as a smart guy that he is, the devil made her see how the tree is "good" for food, "pleasant" to the eyes, and one that is to be desired to make one "wise."

Can you see that? Please note those words in quotation marks. That's how many wrong or toxic relationship appears, but a few months or years after, the damage won't be redeemable.

It is better to quit a wrong relationship now, than for you to leave it when you'd have a scar. Truthfully, God will forgive you, but the scar wouldn't be erasable.

Are you in the wrong relationship? Here's how you can identify one if you don't know.

1. It reduces you spiritually

The first agenda of every wrong or toxic relationship is that it draws you away from God, and brings you closer to hell. 

If you now give him more attention than God, you'd be gradually disconnected from Him till you're lost in sin. If she demands that you spend more time with her, remember what happened to Samson, he slept the sleep of death until they came to pluck out his eyes. 

A bad relationship would reduce your commitment to God, such as your devotion to Him and His work. You'd think more of him or her than to concentrate on God when you should.

2. You'd suffer verbal abuse

No relationship, I mean, no relationship is worth humiliating you verbally. You shouldn't be spoken to by anyone anyhow, whether in anger or as a habit if you truly know your worth.

A person who abuses you verbally can't change if his or her understanding hasn't been aligned properly to respect you. All this name-calling, body shaming, the use of foul languages or vulgar words is an indication that you're in a wrong relationship.

3. You're living as married couples when you're single

Call it couple's life, cohabitation, boyfriend and girlfriend, or what have you are destructive relationships. It is never God's plan for you to jump a phase in your life. God will never give you "double promotion" to excuse you from a phase of life you must pass through.

All that you failed to learn when you should be single will be a carryover when you eventually settle down to marry, but with regret in the long run.

Line must be upon line and precepts upon precept. There's time to be in a relationship, and there is a time when it is very good that you should be alone.

You can't stay in the wrong relationship and would expect to marry the right person or enjoy what a blissful relationship is, you must quit; and I say that without an apology.

4. Dating married persons

For all I care, you should know that that's a wrong relationship. You don't need a prophet to say, "Thou saith the Lord." You know why?

You're sowing something that you'd reap later. Whether the Law of Karma is real or not, one thing I'm sure of is that God cannot be mocked and whatever you sow, you'll surely reap. If you're the reason why a man or woman misbehave in their matrimony, you'd harvest what you sow.

Don't be the reason why a man is not faithful to his wife. Don't share warmth with another man's wife.

5. It would take a toll on your financial life

One sad thing about a wrong relationship is that you'd keep spending unprofitably. It is good to give in a relationship, but it's weird to give at the expense of your life. It isn't love to use your school fees to help anybody, it's called stupidity of the highest order.

When he knows that you can give to a fault, you'd be taken advantage of. When she knows that you give blindly, you'll become her ATM. And that would drain you financially.

6. It keeps you focused on pleasure rather than pursue your divine purpose

Any relationship you keep, whether you sugarcoat the name or not, and doesn't prioritize the discovery of your divine purpose, but esteems the pursuit of pleasure to its maximum point would destroy you.

Those who haven't discovered their divine purpose are not living, they're only existing. 

If you pursue pleasure so much in your relationship, it would ruin your useful life. Remember, the usefulness of youth is in their youthful life, and if all your youthful life is spent on the pursuit of frivolity, what would be the order of your life when old age sets in?

See, you can never be forever young. Every one of us would one day obey the laws of diminishing returns. Your pointed breast would sag one day or that handsomeness that becomes your focal point will fade. It is what you pursue in life that matters.

If you pursue pleasure - youthful lust - there's a reward, and if you pursue your divine purpose, you'd have a greater reward with a life that's exempted from the tragedies of the youthful life, especially of those who are void of understanding.

If you still read all these and scorn the truths in it, well, don't say you haven't been told. The year is still fresh. Set your life in order and quit any wrong or toxic relationship you carried over into this new year. Don't be emotional about your decision.

A wrong relationship has no benefit than to destroy you; if not now, the destruction would come in the nearest future.

#Selah

By Oluwamayowa Adeniyi